I'm back..........

A year. One whole year has passed since I last wrote. Not that I have not thought about it. So many things I have wanted to say, experiences to share.
It is peculiar how much time can pass and we have very little recollection of what has kept us so busy. I know that being a parent, working a job, being a friend and wife all take up considerable time in my day. My life is filled with busy work. Some very fulfilling, some not.

I felt the overwhelming need to come back to this space as I feel that I am embarking on a new path. One I want to document and share. In my heart I know that many people out there have shared a similar path, filled with trepidation.

In seven months I will be turning 40. This age seems to be such a threshold for many people. A pinnacle, a milestone. I am having very strong reservations and fears about turning 40. It is not the age itself that worries me, but what it has represented to me from a very young age. At 40 my Mother was diagnosed with cancer, at 44 she died. I was 12. Somewhere in my head a timer is starting to wind up. I feel like Captain Hook in Peter Pan, being followed by the crocodile that swallowed the clock.
Part of me feels as though 40 marks the beginning of the end.

 And then there is part of me that is so excited and feeling liberated, I lead a much healthier lifestyle now than I ever have. I love my job and all the opportunity that it affords me. I adore my daughter and I  can not wait to see who she becomes. I can see so much adventure in my future.

Perhaps taking this journey out loud will be away to connect with my Mother, a way to share my story with her. As a young person I never really thought I would get this far, or maybe it was that this magical age of 40 once seemed so old, that whom ever had reached it must have done pretty much all their living. Now I see how truly young it is. There is still so much to do, feel, experience.
I want to share my journey. I want to speak of the things that I fear, I want to celebrate the things that bring me joy. Most of all I want to connect.....